Breaching my boundaries

I was listening to NPR yesterday evening, as I often do, and they were reporting on the allegations that Louis CK repeatedly exposed himself to women, masturbated in front of them or while on the phone, etc. Disturbing for many reasons, one of them being I LIKE HIS COMEDY!
WTF, dude.

While cleaning up after dinner I reflected on an experience I had, years ago when I was a single parent. A guy I knew peripherally asked if I would sleep with him for $1500.

I declined. 

He persisted. 

The conversation went on too long, and the last offer I received was that I watch him masturbate for $1500.
Ugh.
No.

A lightbulb went on last night when I remembered that  that guy was good friends with none-other-than the older boy (young man? He had to be 4 years older than me) who molested 12 year-old me. WTF? I'm not assuming they talked about me, but I can't rule that out either. It is a weird coincidence, though.

So this morning while knitting I reflected on what happens when you're young and someone manipulates you into doing something you really don't want to. My boundary was breached - the sovereignty of my body, breached. I blamed myself for it. I guess I still do. Why did I let that spider spin a web around me? I can't answer that. But, I do know that it got easier to breach my boundaries after that. In fact, what boundaries existed?

I am here, now. I am thinking that as a broke single parent I turned down $1500 to watch a slimy guy jerk off.

Good for me. Tiny crumb of insight, see?

There was a boundary that wasn't crossed.

[sunset on the channel]