It was through Braiding Wisdom that I met my friend Lavender, who inspired me to write daily gratitudes. Both Kate and Lavender helped me see who I wanted to be - a woman, grounded in nature, connected to lunar cycles whether I'm ovulating or not. All the women at the Braiding Wisdom classes were a part of my opening, by being their humble, beautiful selves in a circle of inquiry and authentic sharing.
I'd lost sight of who I wanted to be.
I knew my healing wasn't going to come through my primary physician. A fine practitioner she is, but allopathic medicine treats symptoms. I'm after the underlying causes. I understood, when I got quiet, that it was through body work, earth work, spiritual seeking and community I would find my way to a healthier happier me. I will take a prescription if I have to, but my goal is to do this organically, in harmony with the natural world.
My life has been serially focused on what others need/expect of me. I feel like a toddler, trip-tumbling forward. Some days I'm overflowing with potential, others I'm a vacant lot, parched and dry. I try to honor what is and not beat myself up when the way forward isn't clear. Those days are tough.
I knitted this morning, dropped John at work and took Reese to Governor's Island for a walk. It was a windy frigid stomp, but I was gifted with a new path, one I'd never noticed before. It led to a pine stand, one of my favorite places to pause, breathe and be.
I've been obsessed with noticing exposed tree roots. I love them. They're a metaphor for the work I'm doing. I observe their tenacious paths through turf, soil and rock. Their gnarled interlaced systems go unnoticed, while feeding and supporting the above-ground growth. Today it was a tree clinging to a rock ledge that caught my attention. The root system was a marvel of grim determination against all odds:
I will visit this tree often to offer encouragement and admire its beauty.
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